When I met my partner, I kind of thought things would fall into places – that we would simply soon have family, cozy apartment, calm and sweet life’s routine. After first date with him, I came back home and told my flatmate at the time, that I met my future husband. Mistery solved. That was clear to my heart straight away.
He comes from a loving family, had beautiful childhood that I hadn’t experienced, and he was soft. He was who I needed to be healed, one to help me to collect all the broken pieces of my life.
Little did I know back then that Universe gives us not what we think we need, but rather what we unconsciously and deeply long for to
So yeah, I Iearnt fast, that he wouldn’t be the one to make me settle down. And I swear to Gods, I wouldn’t like that happened. With his deep love for mountains and freedom, he instead fully supports me in who I am: a girl who needs to go to India every year, who loves to travel, needs unfamiliar, who likes to get lost, who dreams of a new place to see as soon as gets back home.
And he taught me to accept, to not expect and to simply let love happen.
And he makes me feel that there is nothing wrong with me being myself.
We love spending time together. At home, on the road, in the mountains, practicing yoga mat to mat, travelling through India, in the middle of nowhere, at climbers campgrounds, by the oceans, in places we feel alive and grateful. He often hugs me then and says: „Remember this moment forever. When you’ll be sad or upset, just bring this memory back.” This moment of things being perfect. Pure love and joy. We’ve collected so many by now, and there’s much more to go. I know that.
There’s bitter side too – when he drives me to the airport and I always have tears running down my cheeks. And I so hate that. But we both know I need to go as this is my life dream coming true – travel and teach, share my love for yoga, learn about other countries through having my life there, be surrounded by nature. . And then we count down the days until he comes to see me. And all these places I have been to and my new home – Switzerland – I would never change a single decision. But there’s a price of not waking up by his side, of missing daily life that I also love, of not being next to each other when one feels sick or simply pissed. Not being able to calm each other down with just one word, cup of tea or hug.
And I know it brings a question why the hell we live in different countries. Why don’t I move back or he moves to here. Because things are not so easy. But our love is strong.
It has grown like a mountain and with great energy. It has also grown among mountains – by being tied to each other with a rope, literally trusting each other with life. Climbing together moved our relationship to another level. He knows my limits and weaknesses so damn well, but never uses that against me.
I know until which moment exactly I should motivate him to push and when to ask to step back.
He takes me to places where I am really challenged, but also lets go ambition if he sees it’s too much for me.
We were climbing Rostrum couple of months ago. Wojtek sent the crux. He was able to lead all of the pitches OS. And I was feeling like shit. Weak and tired. So he climbed the hardest pitch and simply came down to take me for a cake and coffee. I don’t know what moved me more- how strong and skilled he was or how gentle and loving.
Sometimes I can be a drama queen. Questioning the purpose of running around the world, climbing and escaping the real life. But the thing is, mountains are the real life for both of us.
This is where I feel so fully alive, deeply connected to nature, when I know I am a part of this beautiful creation of Mother Earth. I don’t find it in cities, nor in the coziness of our apartment.
Enlightenment isn’t found with a full stomach, or on a soft pillow. Conrad Anker
This relationship is the best thing that happened to me. Because I love and I feel loved and I am given so much space to grow.
When we were in Yosemite earlier this year, we were among other couples like us. In their late 30s, still postponing having kids, but having the life full of adventures. (I’m not saying parents don’t have one!)
There was this couple just like us. Lucy and Andy. We saw them around everyday. Until this stupid day when huge , more than 1000 tonnes piece of El Capitan fell off the mountain killing Andy.
It struck me. They were just like us. I had thousands of confused thoughts.
Every time you go climbing you take risk. But so you do while driving a car. We learnt later that they weren’t even climbing on that day, just hiking in a bottom of El Cap…
I have just found out that Andy’s family had recently raised the money in memory of him…:
„We are raising funds that will be used to help young people, who may not otherwise have the opportunity, to experience, enjoy and respect the great outdoors and our natural environment through adventures such as climbing, skiing, surfing and other similar activities.”
After I found out about this accident , my first thought was: I don’t want to climb anymore. Soon after came another one: I want to climb even more than earlier, experience more and live more fully. Especially that I don’t know how much time is left to do so.
I have to say it shaked my world. I always thought things like that wouldn’t happen to us. But they can. So this moments when you watch the sunset after the day of climbing, when you feel you made it, teamed up with your partner, you experienced together something many just cannot see through their own eyes – they are so damn precious. It’s not really a romantic thing to climb with your love. It’s hard, challenging, there’s fear and sweat and fun too, but mostly after you are already safe back at the bottom of the mountain.
But it is another dimension of experience, it’s:
We did it. We could have trusted each other, supported each other and stayed safe. We couldn’t have done it without another one. It was wild. And hard. And real.
Around the same time when we were still in the Valley, we heard another heartbreaking story, about death of Hayden Kennedy and his girlfriend Inge Perkins. You can read about that sad accident here:
https://www.climbing.com/news/remembering-hayden-kennedy-and-inge-perkins/
And then read Hayden’s article here:
http://eveningsends.com/the-day-we-sent-logical-progression/
This story and thoughts he shared says that all.
I deeply understand and agree. Even that it aches my heart sometimes.
We have chosen different values.
